My mom looked up “crop dusting” on urban dictionary. She now has tears from laughter, and her makeup is running.
Dad (after getting a strike): That's right, bitches.
Mom: Your dad bowls like he "mmhmms". He uses power!
Mom: And then after he goes "That's right, bitches."
when my sims sleep in the wrong bed
no you little dumbass I made your bedroom to specifically represent your personality why do you insist on sleeping there stop it at once young man you are a disappointment to this household
me: i'm going out
mum: okay, who with?
mum: what are they called? where are you going? what are you doing? where do they live? how many are there? what are their favourite colours? hobbies? pet names?
theyuledog: “Jason Derulo” sang Jason Derulo, as he baked holiday cookies in the shape of his face
alambgrons: do you ever get so platonically infatuated with someone that you just want to shower them with love and never stop but you’re afraid they’ll think you’re creepy and secretly start to judge you and no ssh stop all i want to do is love you
1280 years in the future
historian: i will now teach you a classical dance which has been danced at the courts of kings and queens for centuries
historian: to the left
take it back now y'all
one hop this time
right foot let's stomp
left foot let's stomp
slide to the right
slide to the left
cha cha real smooth
When you're looking through your clothes and can't...
Me: I really can't stay
Internet: but baby, it's sociable outside.
friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
friend: OH MAN
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
when I have something in common with my celebrity...
I cannot get away from this song for more than a...
I was just at a Chinese restaurant and they were playing a fast remix of Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani. It was like at least 6 minutes long, and just kind of repeated over and over.